Alcoholism is a Disease

It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. There hasn’t been much going on in my life that is suitable for public, so I’ve been neglecting this blog. My knitting’s fallen off the charts into “occasionally” and my cooking is just enough to get my family by.

There’s been some drama… My karate instructor is an alcoholic, and when it came down to him choosing between his two best families or his booze, he picked his booze. Up until now, I’d never dealt with a friend being an alcoholic. I wasn’t too sure I bought into the whole “alcoholism is a disease” thing, and I couldn’t imagine why he couldn’t just shake it. After dealing with him and his problems for YEARS, I can honestly say that it is absolutely a disease. It is a devastating illness that clouds his view of the world to the point where he doesn’t see anything realistically anymore. He refuses to see how much his behavior is hurting the people around him, and it is heartbreaking. He is driving to the school in the evenings drunk. He is teaching 5-7 year old children DRUNK. He has a good heart, but he is so self-centered that he refuses to ask for help. He is so self centered, that he sticks his head in the sand any time someone tries to talk to him.

Needless to say, this was devastating to everyone involved. We spoke to him two years ago about at least waiting until after class was over for the day to get wasted. We spoke to him one year ago about not drinking before class. Then he showed up to an important event very personal to me with alcohol on his breath and a slur in his speech, and I was done. We’ve been licking our spiritual wounds, and trying to move on ever since. It’s been rough going. I’ve only just now gotten back into running after a month and a half long hiatus, and every joint on my body aches. I haven’t been taking my vitamins, and I’ve been staying up too late. I try to be a model of fitness and health for the people around me, but it just got too hard after having to leave the karate school that’s been my home for the past five years. I’ve identified as a martial artist for so long, I’m a little lost without that direction.

I want to talk to my instructor. I want to speak to him and hear his plan for getting healthy again. I want everything to be okay. I want my friend back. But there’s nothing more I can do. In the end, sobriety and recovery are a personal decision, and he has no interest regardless of the consequences.

But you know what? No matter what happens, life goes on. So here I am, trying to move on. I don’t have any new recipes to post or knitting patterns to show off, but hopefully I’ll have something to share soon.

Thanks for stopping by.

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